Healing Our Hearts—The Gratitude Process

the gratitude process to heal heart

The Gratitude Process Can Be Life-Changing

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” — Suzanne Somers, Actress and Author

One of the things I have taught over the years is how to make peace with difficult people in our lives. Not only do we have toxins in our bodies, we can also have them in our minds. Ultimately, these “mind toxins” affect our current relationships and the partnerships we are looking to create.

The Gratitude Process Is Life-Changing…

In Dr. John Demartini’s landmark book, The Breakthrough Experience, he teaches people how to “collapse” people who are not serving them. Dr. Demartini says that ALL people have something to teach us — even those who are seemingly evil people. When we sit in a place of resentment, guilt, frustration or hatred, we will be held back in our life.

To better understand how to shift our beliefs and heal our wounds, we must embrace the knowledge that every person and every situation has a gift to give us if we are open to receiving. This is the gratitude process.

Until we understand what this gift is, we will repeat our patterns of attracting this type of person without benefiting from the relationship.

Can gratitude fix your life from Susan Sly

Many books urge us to forgive, although forgiveness without true gratitude is not enough. That’s what makes the gratitude process so effective.

Forgiveness is incredible when it truly comes from the heart. To look at the most challenging person or situation in our lives, and be grateful for that individual or that event, sends us to a place that is much more powerful than simply uttering the words, “I’m sorry.”

Gratitude – and the gratitude process – takes us to a place of peace. When we are at peace, we can love more deeply and attract more desirable people and events to ourselves. You may be thinking, “Susan, this person really hurt me. How can I be grateful for them?” The answer is to simply think as God thinks: with pure unconditional love. When we are grateful for those who have hurt us, we see these people through the lens of God’s eyes.

In order to fully go through the gratitude process, we must first identify the person or situation that is causing us pain. The steps are done in sequence and are powerful. The exercise of following The Gratitude Process helps to release our limiting beliefs around one or more people, and by doing this, you will truly be set free. Your relationships will become more vibrant, and you will experience greater peace than you may have ever known.

The gratitude process contains ten key steps:

1. Identify a situation or person who caused you pain.

2. What were/are the characteristics of the person/situation?

3. Does or did anyone else in your life have these characteristics?

4. If yes, who are they?

5. How am I a better person for experiencing this event/knowing this person?

6. What is great about this?

7. What are/were the lessons I learned from this about myself?

8. Am I willing to fully let it go?

9. What am I grateful for?

10. Write a letter to the person in the situation or to yourself.

With the New Year approaching, it is a perfect time to evaluate the people and the relationships in our lives. If someone is holding you back or the relationship is toxic in nature, use the Gratitude Process to help not only let go of people causing pain, but also to learn about yourself and how to take positives away from even the most negative situations.


Susan Sly author of self help books for women shares work tips

Susan Sly is a best selling author, speaker and entrepreneur. She has appeared on CNN, CNBC, Fox, Lifetime Television and the CBN. Susan is the mother of five children and resides in Scottsdale, Arizona

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