― Nora Ephron

Angelina Jolie’s body parts are not unaccustomed to their own AP newsfeeds or Tweets.  Her leg, on full display in her Oscar gown garnered its own social media cult following.  Numerous mentions have been made to her lips; as both the envy of many women worldwide and the fact that they get to kiss Brad Pitt.  Ms. Jolie’s neck was once heavily maligned while it famously held court for a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood.  This week however, it was her breasts, and the decision to have a double mastectomy that has been the focus of news media around the world.

In a rare, personally written piece for the NY Times on Tuesday, May 14th, Ms. Jolie speaks of her decision to have the procedure after a positive test for the BRCA 1 gene.  According to the tests she has an 87% chance of being diagnosed with breast cancer.  CNN reported on Wednesday, May 15^th that she has also decided to have both ovaries removed to further lesson the potential of cancer.  Although there has been some backlash, numerous women, and physicians, around the world are applauding Ms. Jolie’s courage to ‘come out.’

When I was diagnosed with progressive multiple sclerosis in January of 2000, I did not come out.  I was initially shocked and then angry.  I was furious at my body.  I was hurt and devastated.  My prognosis was that I would be in a wheelchair within ten years.  For a long time I hid my disease from the world.  I did not want sympathy as it would only further fuel my anger.  I did not go to support groups because I refused to accept my fate.  In other words, I was not going to be a statistic.

When I finally did come out, slowly at first to family and a few friends, I received a mixture of sympathy and disbelief.  Even today, my family never talks about it.  Perhaps it is the fact that they are Chinese and to speak of unpleasant things is almost forbidden.  The only person who has ever truly understood is my husband, Chris.  He has seen the worst of it; when I slurred my speech, when the pain was so intense I could barely walk, when the numbness and tingling in my left arm was so severe I didn’t have full functioning.

As I started to get healthy, I was criticized for my choice.  One doctor was upset that I refused to go on the drugs.  Although many people have been supportive, the truth is that because I run marathons and seem very fit, my family still chooses to live in denial.  This is not something we talk about even though sometimes I want to.

I do have many people who reach out and ask me what I have done.  When they see how much I have had to alter my diet, daily meditation, prayer, detoxing and so forth, people often aren’t as open to taking that road.  The bottom line is that the decision to come out is going to be wrought with curiosity and criticism.  People are going to have their opinions and judgments and those are not the people we come out for; we come out for the men and women who require courage in their own lives to face an illness head on.

Coming out is brave and it is also extremely hard.  Who will ever look at Angelina Jolie again and not think of her double mastectomy?  I am sure she will have sympathizers and I am also sure that she will attract copious amounts of people who will attack her decision.  As a celebrity, this is something she is no stranger to and most likely has the buffer of professional people around her to assist with handling the deluge of questions and condemnations.              Although the vast majority of people who ‘come out’ do not have a PR team, that does not in the least diminish her decision to openly write about this choice; something that is giving women the courage to come out themselves.

On the same day as Jolie’s coming out piece, CNN anchor, Zoraida Sambolin, was inspired to share her breast cancer diagnosis on international television admitting that she was scared and also weighing her options.  Sambolin joins other well-known media personalities, including Good Morning America’s Robyn Roberts, who have come out and openly faced the public with their diagnosis.

Coming out is something that is a personal choice and not for those who fear criticism or who feel maligned by a barrage of suggestions.  For many women, however, coming out is a sigh of relief as speculation ends and the truth is revealed.  What I have personally learned from coming out is that at the end of the day we can be an inspiration.  Battling any illness is not easy.  Making choices that are unconventional is tough.

Balanced Living Tips for Coming Out 

1. There are millions of people who are living with illness.  Having cancer, MS, fibromyalgia, lupus, or any other disease does not immediately ostracize you.  Remember – you are not alone.
2. When you do come out, do not be a victim.  Let people see your courage.
3. Have your treatment plan in place.  You can still be open to suggestions, especially by those who have championed the same situation, however many people will likely have an opinion and you want to remain strong.
4. Release expectation on others.  People may surprise you in how they react.  When we have expectations on how we feel they should respond, we may be disappointed.
5. Surround yourself with uplifting people.  If you do choose to go to a support group make sure it is a positive experience.  Many people dwell on their illness and use it as an excuse.  Seek out people who are transcending the disease.

Susan Sly is an author and speaker.  She is the mother of five children and resides with her long-time love – her husband Chris. 

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Gilda Radner died of  ovarian cancer in 1989.  Although she was a celebrated comedienne, actress and author, she will be most remembered for what transpired after her death   Her husband, Gene Wilder established the Gilda Radner Ovarian Detection Center at Cedars-Sinai to screen high risk candidates and run basic diagnostic tests.  ” He testified before a Congressional committee that Radner’s condition had been misdiagnosed and that if doctors had inquired more deeply into her family background they would have learned that her grandmother, aunt and cousin had all died of ovarian cancer, and therefore they might have attacked the disease earlier.”

Radner’s death from ovarian cancer helped to raise awareness of early detection and the connection to family genetics. The media attention in the two years after Radner’s death led to registry of 450 families with familial ovarian cancer at the Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry, a research database registry in Buffalo, New York. The registry was later renamed the Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry.

Today, the legacy continues with the establishment of Gilda’s Club.  Gilda Radner once said that cancer gave her ”membership to an elite club I’d rather not belong to”, hence the naming of Gilda’s Club. Gilda’s Club is a worldwide support network for people living with cancer, their families and friends. Local chapters provide meeting places where men, women and children living with cancer and their families and friends join with others to build emotional and social support as a supplement to medical care. Free of charge and nonprofit, Gilda’s Club chapters offer support and networking groups, lectures, workshops and social events in a nonresidential, homelike setting.

The Red Door Art Project will be a signature Gilda’s Club Southeastern Ontario fundraiser. It focuses on pairing together local artists with celebrities who will come up with a concept and create a unique work of art on a Gilda’s Club signature door. As these doors are completed, they will be displayed around Kingston . The doors will be auctioned off and the proceeds going to Gilda’s Club in Kingston, Ontario. Celebrities include Blue Rodeo, The Tragically Hip, the Canadian Pickers, and our very own Susan Sly.  On May 15th, bidding will open for the Red Door Art Project’s doors on MAXSOLD.com.

The auction will be open until May 30^th, closing during the gala event. The Art Show & Red Door Gala will be on May 30^th. Tickets for this are $100 and can be purchased through the Gilda’s Club Southeastern Ontario website, at any KCCU branch in Kingston or by contacting Gilda’s Club. All proceeds from the sale of the doors will go to Gilda’s Club Southeastern Ontario.

Available doors:

Blue Rodeo/Stephen Liu
Don Cherry/Bruce Beacock
Diana Krall/Cavelle Mac
Emily Fennell/Sally Chupick
Susan Sly/Joanne Franke
The Tragically Hip/Heather Haynes
Canadian Pickers/Sherri Nelson
The Campfire Liars Club/Suzy Lamont
The Mahones/Nancy Douglace
Lisa Ray/Rebecca Cowan
Jian Ghomeshi/Stefan Duerst
Carla Collins/Sandra Randall

No doubt, you or someone you know has been touched by cancer.  Please consider donating your time or money to your local chapter of Gilda’s Club. No one should face cancer alone.

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Earl Nightingale

On a recent weekday evening our internet simply ‘died.’  I was posting a tip to Facebook and as soon as it was complete the little red icon of death indicated that we were suddenly disconnected from the rest of the world.  After a call to our internet service provider, and some diagnostics, it was discovered that the power converter for our modem had limped through its last days and was now beyond repair.  The options were to head to the store, which was now closed, and replace it or to wait for Purolator to send a new modem.

For a nano-second I thought about all of the projects I had on the go and the list of things that needed to be accomplished.  Many of these things, as much is, are dependent on the internet.  From researching my new book to project analysis, the internet has become a staple of business.  Here we were with no internet, save for our phones, and much opportunity to lament our lack of ability to interact with the outside world.

We run our businesses out of our home.  As entrepreneurs we set our own schedules and much of our life revolves around the kids.  Once the younger children go to bed, Chris and I can often be found at our laptops getting a bit of work in and additionally,  have a teenager, who is heavily reliant on Skype and Facebook; one can see the potential for meltdowns and frustration.  Without the internet, we were in the dark and in a very good way.

Instead of having a fit and getting upset about what we could not control, Chris and I had a glass of wine, curled up on the sofa and read.  Our daughter, worked on her school project and …GASP, spoke to her friends on the phone instead of texting.  There was a beautiful calm in the house and I had a great night sleep.

Being forced to unplug offers a wonderful perspective however many frenzied Gen X’ers and Baby Boomers are heading off the grid to resorts that do not allow internet in the rooms.  I know…GASP!  People are flocking to detox spas in exotic locations to purge out life’s excesses both physically and mentally.  I have several friends that have gone on ‘silent’ retreats, spending seven to ten days without speaking, technology or communication with the outside world.  Initially they report anger, frustration and then sadness.  Eventually this gives way to a state of euphoria.

I have unplugged in different ways, going off the grid, in Cambodia and Africa where I spend days out in the field and evenings enjoying long meals with friends and colleagues.  I have learned to not even miss the internet.  I still remember the days before we had email and cell phones and that when we left our job we actually left it.  Those days are long gone although for people who have recollection of driving home listening to Duran Duran and not obsessively chatting on the Bluetooth™, unplugging is more essential than ever.

Escaping to a five star resort in Belize or going off the grid in India for a few weeks may not be on the radar screen right now however unplugging is something that is crucial to maintaining balance.  In our home we unplug part of our technology every week.  On Sunday’s I do not email and only text if absolutely necessary.  Just knowing that Sunday is my ‘unplug’ day affords me a deep, beautiful sleep on Saturday nights.  We also have email and tech off times between four p.m. and eight-thirty at night when we are running the kids around, doing homework and getting everyone ready for bed.

We are so plugged in that commercials parody families who are at the dinner table texting or using live chats when they are on different floors of the house.  Seriously?  With obesity rates on the rise for children and adults what is going to happen when we can’t be bothered to walk up a flight of stairs or actually sit at a table and eat our food slowly, so the body can actually register fullness?  Technology doesn’t belong at meal times and nor should it be the primary means of communication within a family.

It isn’t always perfect however technology downtime recharges me.  Studies actually show that people who are on screens right up until they try and sleep take longer to go into REM sleep, the deep sleep that renews the body, than those who unplug at least an hour before.  Chris and I do not allow laptops or phones in our bedroom.  The technology stays downstairs where it belongs.  Another study I read illustrated that children who have televisions in their room are much more likely to be obese than those who do not.

I encourage you to give yourself time to unplug every week.  You absolutely need to re-charge and ‘fill your well.’  It may feel as though the world is leaving you behind however, from experience, I can tell you that it will still be there if you unplug for a few hours or more.  Lastly, as always, know that you have greatness inside you and that you can truly be, do and have anything you dream.  Also – a very special Happy Mother’s Day to all of my fellow moms.

Balanced Living Tips for Unplugging

1. Go email and communication free once per week.  Set the time and stick to it.
2. Take all technology out of the bedroom.
3. Once every quarter take two or three days and let people know you will be unplugged.
4. If you have kids, illustrate the importance of taking some time every day to connect without technology.

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Susan is a balanced living expert.  She is an author, speaker and self made millionaire.  She has appeared on ABC Family, the CBN, written for Dianne Magazine, Oxygen Australia and many more.  Susan dedicates time to philanthropy and projects that benefit women and girls all over the world.  She is married to her best friend, Chris, and together they have five beautiful children.

Time is running out to be part of Susan Sly’s signature event, THE HAVE IT ALL WOMEN weekend at the beautiful Toronto Harbour Front.  This is a weekend for you to take care of YOU.  You will be challenge, nourished and share more than a few laughs in a completely safe environment.  Click here for more details. 

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The mention of John Wooden’s name evokes a legacy that has yet to be rivaled in NCAA Basketball. John Wooden was a coach at the University of California Los Angeles and the Indiana State but it was at UCLA that Wooden garnered his highest acclaim. Under his coaching, the Bruins won  88 consecutive games and he led the UCLA Bruins Basketball to a total 10 NCAA Basketball Championships, 7 of them in consecutive years.   He was one of the most revered coaches and was beloved by his former players, among them Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Bill Walton.  Dr. Corey Dobbs says  ”Wooden influenced players through the character he displayed in everything he did, from the way he recruited student-athletes to the way he taught them to put their socks on.”

Coach Wooden’s primary teaching tool was his Seven Point Creed.  

• Be true to yourself.
• Make each day your masterpiece.
• Help others.
• Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.
• Make friendship a fine art.
• Build a shelter against a rainy day.
• Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.

He believed that leadership and character went hand in hand. A man of deep faith and conviction walked his talk.“I have always tried to make it clear that basketball is not the ultimate. It is of small importance in comparison to the total life we live. There is only one kind of life that truly wins, and that is the one that places faith in the hands of the Savior.”  in 2010, John Wooden died 4 months and 10 days shy of his 100th birthday.  He will be remembered as a man of integrity and great character, a true leader.

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In People Magazine’s Beautiful People issue, Gwyneth Paltrow is named as the most beautiful woman.  Paltrow has been criticized for her supposed banishing of ‘carbs’ from her children’s diets and her own adherence to what some believe to be too obtuse a regime.  In her interview she openly counters widespread belief and sets the record straight admitting that a martini and baguette and cheese are part of her own diet and that yes, her children do eat carbs.  What Paltrow admits, and for the last several years has consistently shared is that the secret to her lean physique is two hours of exercise daily no matter what.

Paltrow also admitted that sometimes she literally cries because she doesn’t feel like doing it however she fully appreciates that she will feel and look better by getting it done.  She also confesses that, like most of us, she likes food and doesn’t want to deprive herself and has found that for her, two hours of exercise using the Tracy Anderson method is what keeps her lean.

A Gallop-Healthways poll of 350,000 people found that 51.6 percent of Americans exercise three or more times per week for at least thirty minutes.  Although this number seems promising it is also coincides with being ineffective.  When one looks at the obesity and overweight statistics in America with over 60 percent of adults having a body mass index that puts them in the overweight category and obesity rates at 30 percent and rising, thirty minutes is not enough.

In speaking to a woman last week, who was frustrated with the number on the scale, it was apparent that exercise wasn’t a priority.  She told me that she didn’t have time.   My bottom line message is that we will always make time for what we feel is important and if that is watching CNN or Dancing with the Stars, we will do it.  If it is cooking with Mario Batali on the Food Network, we will do it.  If exercise is a priority we will do that too.

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As a mother of four, a business owner, author and speaker, I have a fairly ‘full’ schedule however exercise is non-negotiable.  I get up and get it done.  Sometimes I don’t feel like it.  I am tired or the number of things on my list is so great that I want to dive in and get things done however I know that I am at least three times as effective after exercise than without it.

Unlike Ms. Paltrow, I do not exercise two hours every day.  Sometimes it is forty minutes; sometimes it is much longer.  It all depends on what I am training for.  As a marathon runner, I have to get the long runs in leading up to a race however during the week I exercise for anywhere from forty minutes to just over an hour.

Like Ms. Paltrow, I also love good food; a great glass of red wine and an amazing pasta are sublime.  For years, as a teenager I had an eating disorder, and now, at forty I will absolutely not deprive myself.  If I want something, I have it.  Exercise is a wonderful buffer.  Admittedly, I will not eat things with Aspartame or MSG.  I also do not eat meat.  I do, however, like Gwyneth Paltrow, graze all day and have a non-GMO protein shake, raw nuts, a greens drink, fruit and take my vitamins.  I am not saying that I have an enviable body but I am a lot leaner than I was in my twenties where I weighed two hundred pounds and obsessed over food, depriving myself and then binging.

Life is about balance.  Exercise helps us to deal with stress, increase our metabolism and may prevent certain diseases.  The most successful people I know, exercise every day.  They understand that in order to be effective, they have to be sharp and exercise heightens their skills.  Like many people, you may not feel like exercising every day however think about how great you are going to feel after you get it done.  Live into what I refer to as, ‘the after effect.’  Nothing feels as good as when we feel good about ourselves and exercise will absolutely increase that powerful positive self-awareness.

In my seminars, I counsel women to put the oxygen mask on themselves first and this applies to men as well.  By getting your workout in early you are putting that oxygen mask on and as a result you are going to be a better parent, grandparent, employee, business owner, partner and friend.  Granted, it may be tough at the beginning to develop this new habit however it will be one of the most rewarding things you do.  As always, know that I believe in you and that you truly can have it all.

Balanced Living Tips for Getting Your Workout In

1. Live into the ‘after effect.’  How good is it going to feel when you get your workout in?
2. Something is always better than nothing.  If you do not have an hour, do at least twenty minutes.
3. Go to bed earlier and get up earlier.  Studies show that people who workout in the morning are much more likely to get it done.
4. Reward yourself for getting a full week of workouts in.  Go to a movie or buy some new workout gear which will motivate you for the next week.
5. Get a workout buddy.  When you have to meet someone you are not as apt to make excuses.
6. Lay out your workout clothes the night before and put them on first thing.

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 Are you a mum?  Are you having a challenge balancing all that life demands? Susan has created a brand new webinar series that will assist you in creating that much sought after bliss in life.  Click here for more information!

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Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt did not have a great start in life. Her dad was a sportsman who battled drugs and alcohol , who was eventually committed to an asylum for treatment.  Her mom battled depression  and placed her young daughter in a convent school.  It was during her time as a student that she considered her happiest years.

In 1905, Eleanor married her distant cousin, Franklin D. Roosevelt, who would later become president of the United States. The couple had six children: Anna, James, Franklin (who died as an infant), Elliott, Franklin Jr. and John. Despite her busy home life, Eleanor became active in public service during World War I, working for the American Red Cross.

No presidential wife served as First Lady for a period longer than did Eleanor Roosevelt – twelve years, one month, one week and one day. No First Lady served through two nationally traumatic events such as did Eleanor Roosevelt, presiding at the White House during the Great Depression and World War II.E She gave press conferences and spoke out for human rights, children’s causes and women’s issues, working on behalf of the League of Women Voters.

From 1945 to 1953, Eleanor served as a delegate to the United Nations General Assembly. She also became chair of the UN’s Human Rights Commission. As a member of the Human Rights Commission, she helped to write the Universal Declaration of Human Rights—an effort that she considered to be her greatest achievement.

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“We cannot close ourselves off to information and ignore the fact that millions of people are out there suffering. I honestly want to help. I don’t believe I feel differently from other people. I think we all want justice and equality, a chance for a life with meaning. All of us would like to believe that if we were in a bad situation someone would help us.” Angelina Jolie

Janine Maxwell laughs easily when asked to describe her life in Swasiland, a country the size of New Jersey.  She waxes poetic about the 2000 hectares in Africa’s only remaining monarchy and how much of this land is used for agriculture that provides 75,000 meals per month to those in need.  Then there are the babies, orphans abandoned in the streets and this is where her voice changes from light and easy to some edge and gritty determination.  Even though she says that she is, ‘so unqualified,’ Janine is certain that she has been called for this.

Janine was once a high powered executive, co-helming a twenty million dollar per year marketing company.  Her clients were Fortune 500 corporations and her life was centered around board meetings, designer clothes and a schedule that would have the busiest of people scratching their heads.  Then, on one fateful day that happened to be September 11, 2001, Janine found herself in New York City during the bombing of the Twin Towers.  Evacuated from her hotel under the surreal back drop of smoke and gun fire, Janine returned to Toronto and took a good hard look at her life.

Janine is quick to say that Christ spoke to her and said that it was time for her to dissolve her company.  For some time she had known that her existence had felt empty and she constantly questioned her life asking, ‘what are people going to remember?’  Below the surface she felt a tug; she knew there was more out there for her and she didn’t know what that was.  Even though people thought she was crazy, she and her husband, Ian, dissolved their company and headed to Africa.

Like many people who start NGO’s (non-governmental organizations), the Maxwell’s learned a lot by trial and error.  In 2006 they founded Heart for Africa, www.heartforafrica.org , and have been going strong ever since.  On the surface, Janine is bubbly, laughs easily and seems to take things in stride.  Below that surface, is the marketing executive.  She knows her statistics – Tanzania has a 46% HIV rate, the highest in the world and 15,000 orphan-headed households; she does not skip a beat.

The one-time frequent flyer now prefers to stay at home in Africa.  When she is not there, she feels tremendous helplessness.  While in America on a fund raising trip, Janine received a call from Ian; an eighteen month old boy had been lit on fire by his father.  He had second and third degree burns and was in critical condition.  Although she readily admits that had she been in Swasiland, she would have made sure that the father got what was coming to him, however she knows that God has a purpose for her.

While sharing the story at a fund raiser, a donor offered to pay the full expenses for the boy to come to America to receive the best care; treatment that would cost upwards of a million dollars.  She also received dressings and ointments for the burns; something not abundantly available in Swasiland.  Janine is very confident that the Lord has her where she needs to be.

When I ask her if the problem ever seems too big to handle she says, ‘once we know, and once we have seen, then we must be responsible.’  She admits that things are not easy to ‘fix.’  I mention Angelina Jolie’s humanitarian efforts in Africa and how the actress, and philanthropist, is quoted as saying that the solution is education.  Maxwell agrees and acknowledges that it takes time to educate and moreover because of the scope of the problems being dealt with, it isn’t so simple; you have babies being raped, people starving to death and children running the home because both parents have died of HIV.  Where do you begin?

At the end of our interview, I can tell that Maxwell is keen to get back to Swasiland.  She wants to get treatment for this boy; she wants to get back to the babies and the land.  Although she is physically in the US at the time of our interview, her heart truly is in Africa.

In interviewing Janine, I was brought to think about our life defining moments and how it sometimes takes an event like 9/11 to shake us to the core; questioning our existence and what we are doing to create significance.  Janine and Ian Maxwell are playing big in their lives and that has been a catalyst for strategic partnerships with companies like Tom’s Shoes.  Although the Maxwell’s understand fully that this is no easy task, they are up for it.  After nine years they are still energetic and hopeful where the majority of people working on the ground for NGO’s tend to burn out.

My questions for you are how can you play big in your life?   Do you feel that there is something more for you out there and that you can contribute on a larger scale?  You do not have to be like Ian and Janine and completely overhaul your life.  You can start by writing a few hundred words of that book that you know will benefit so many, lacing up your running shoes because you know that your health will make you a better parent, or sprucing up your resume because you know that you are in the wrong career.  Life is much too short not to play big.

As always, know that you have greatness inside you and you can truly be, do and have anything you dream.  Go for it!

Balanced Living Tips for Playing Big

1. Ask yourself if you feel your life has significance.
2. Seek out a cause that you feel passionate about and see how you can contribute.
3. Take some time to meditate and pray on where, in your life, you feel you may be playing small.  Make a decision to take action.

For more information, check out Janine’s blog page - janinemaxwell.blogspot.com or follow her on FACEBOOK under Janine Willis Maxwell. Janine’s two books – It’s Not Okay and Is It Okay? are also available on Amazon.com. 

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Susan is a balanced living expert. She is an author, speaker and self made millionaire. She has appeared on ABC Family, the CBN, written for Dianne Magazine, Oxygen Australia and many more. Susan dedicates time to philanthropy and projects that benefit women and girls all over the world. She is married to her best friend, Chris, and together they have five beautiful children.

The post Play Big appeared first on SusanSly.com.

 “Our personal consumer choices have ecological, social, and spiritual consequences. It is time to re-examine some of our deeply held notions that underlie our lifestyles.” David Suziki

 David Suzuki dealt first hand with racism during  the internment of Japanese Canadians in concentration camps in Canada. In June 1942, the government sold the Suzuki family’s dry-cleaning business, then interned Suzuki, his mother, and two sisters in a camp at Slocan in the British Columbia interior.  His father had been sent to a labour camp in Solsqua two months earlier. Suzuki’s sister, Jenny, was born in the internment camp. After the war, the family moved east where David fell in love with genetics and went on to become an outspoken advocate for our world. He co-founded the David Suzuki Foundation in 1990 to work  ”to find ways for society to live in balance with the natural world that sustains us.” The Foundation’s priorities are: oceans, sustainable fishing, climate change and clear energy sustainability.  He received the Order of Canada in 2006 and has received numerous honorary degrees.

  Click here to listen to David Suzuki’s Earth Day message for 2013.

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Before the 2013 Boston Marathon, I was asked by a friend, why I would choose to run 26.2 miles; something I get asked often.  This question is usually followed by, ‘I could never do that,’ which in and of itself speaks volumes.  I once heard someone say that when it comes to endurance sports such as marathons or triathlons if a person asks once then they are curious, if they have to ask twice they will never get it.  Regardless of how often I get asked about my passion for sweating through a marathon or the Half Ironman or Ironman races of the past one thing I know for certain is that just talking about it brings a smile to my face.

It isn’t just waxing poetic about the love of testing my limits and proving that the 2000 MS diagnosis didn’t cripple my life as was predicted, it is with many other aspects of my life as well.  Talking about how Chris and I met or my children also brings a smile to my face.  When I see people succeed or transcend their challenges I also get a glowing grin that illuminates me from the core.  When I think about it there are many things that cause me to smile and that knowledge led me to consider, deeply, our often overwhelming, tormented world and question whether or not we are thinking the thoughts or taking the actions which bring us joy as often as we could be.

Is smiling a magic elixir?

Is smiling a magic elixir?  Scientists believe the answer to that is a resounding ‘yes.’  A November 2012 study published in the journal, Psychological Science, clinically observed 170 people.  It was found that smiling, even when forced by holding a set of chopsticks in one’s mouth (which triggers the same facial muscles as smiling) reduced heart rate after stress inducing tasks.  Furthermore, it was found that regardless of how the participant viewed the world, a forced smile was more effective than no smile at all.

So often we go through our days without joy; focusing instead on the “doingness” of life as opposed to the sheer happiness of the simply “beingness” of life.  Remembering those things that make us smile and even the act of smiling can elicit a deeper sense of calm which can be a catalyst for greater objectivity.  When we can be truly objective, we are less likely to make emotionally driven, rash decisions or give up on the task at hand.

In the late 1990’s and the early 2000’s, the sport of women’s Ironman Triathlon was dominated by a Swiss athlete, Natascha Badmann.  Badmann was known for her everlasting smile.  Whether coming out of the water after a 2.4 mile swim or battling fierce winds on a 112 mile bike or facing 100 plus degree temperatures on a 26.2 mile run, she was always smiling.  Natascha won the Ironman World Championships in Kona an impressive six times.  Even one year, when she had to drop out due to a dislocated shoulder after a bike crash, she gracefully exited with a smile on her face.

I have no doubt that during parts of the race, Badmann, was in pain.  Her decision to keep on smiling may have mitigated some of the discomfort and definitely served as an intimidation tactic for many of her opponents.

Many people tell me that they do not want to fake a smile and despite compelling evidence that even fake smiles can boost the mood, it is understandable.  Instead, I suggest that you make a list of at least five or more people and memories that bring a smile to your face.  This will serve you in challenging times and also will assist to aid in garnering perspective.

At the 117^th running of the Boston Marathon, my IPod died only three miles in.  My first thought was that this was going to be a long race and the second thought was that I would have over three hours to develop greater mental discipline.  I also reminded myself that the pro athletes did not use IPods and with that I dug in.  I made a conscious choice to think about someone or something that made me smile every few minutes.  Not only did the time fly by even though my legs were burning, I finished the race fifteen minutes faster than last year.  Sadly, the joy of the experience was robbed shortly after by the bombing that took three lives and injured almost two hundred more.

According to Mark Stibich, PhD, smiling releases endorphins.  These endorphins may serve to numb a pain response.  In the case of Natascha Badmann and myself, smiling served to help us push through endurance events.  In our lives, many of which are like endurance events, smiling may help us to transcend highly stressful and painful events.

Regardless of what is going on in your life, I encourage you to smile more often even if it feels disingenuous.  Allow the natural neurochemicals, that are triggered when we smile, to pour into your body, lower your stress and transform your mood.  Smiling is incredible medicine and best of all, it is absolutely free.

Balanced Living Tips for Smiling Through It

1.  Evidence supports that even fake/forced smiles elicit lower stress.
2. Make a list of at least five people and memories that cause you to smile.
3. Regardless of how tough it is – smiling will cause you to garner perspective and may even assist you in pushing past what feels like a massive barrier.
4. There is some evidence to support that smiling may lower the perceived feeling of physical pain.

Click here to hear Susan’s encouraging podcast on Achieving Your Goals in the Face of Adversity.  We would love to hear your comments!

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The difference was two bombs exploding at the finish of the 117^th running of the Boston Marathon; killing at least two people and injuring many.  Of the fatalities, one was an eight year old child.  In an instant, we all became survivors as opposed to finishers and that is what will forever mark this day.

As I ran the marathon, on Monday, April 15^th, I thought about a lot of things.  I thought about my wonderful husband, Chris, waiting for me at the finish.  I thought about my beautiful angels; my four children safe and sound at home.  I thought about all of the people I loved and cared about and ran mile after mile pushing through discomfort and deliberately putting a smile on my face when things got tough.

No matter how many times I have done this race, it never ceases to amaze me.  From the hundreds of thousands of fans to the resilience of my fellow participants; the Boston Marathon is iconic.  Firstly, unless one is running for charity, a person must qualify by surpassing a time allocated to their gender and age group.  Secondly, there is the journey to arrive in Boston and for many, it is an investment of a great deal of money and begged for days off.

For the victims of this assault, an act of terrorism (at the time of writing this there has not been an individual or group charged), this was an absolute violation of trust.  On a typical Boston Marathon day, eager children await Mommy or Daddy near the finish line.  Expectant husbands, wives, siblings, parents, and loved ones look longingly at the horizon hoping to catch a glimpse of their family member or friend coming down the last stretch to the finish.  On this day, I imagine that the innocents that lost their lives, their limbs and were injured were people just like this; Boylston Avenue is not somewhere one tends to go to see the finish of the Boston Marathon unless there is a good reason.

After the finish I was freezing cold.  All I could think about was my husband’s embrace, the thin metallic thermal blanket and the finisher’s medal that would join my other three at home.  Having a warm bath and maybe some pizza was the next goal.  I was feeling pretty good all things considered and had thanked the Lord as I crossed the finish; He had once again produced a miracle in my life.

Minutes after finishing, I was back at the hotel with a big hug from Chris.  I traditionally stay quite close to the finish area.  On our ride up in the elevator a gentleman got in and informed us that bombs had gone off at the finish.  I was in shock; a feeling that produced shaking, chills and nausea for many hours afterward.

From our room window we could see the blood spatter; we could hear the sirens.  Soon after another explosion vibrated our windows and a shiver of terror traveled up my spine.  Chris and I looked at one another in disbelief and then shock.  Many long minutes later we found out that it was a controlled explosion.  At four-thirty another explosion rocked the JFK Library in Boston.  Some reports called it unrelated while others linked it to the first two explosions.

As I write this, it is now five hours after the bombs.  We hear sirens outside our windows.  We have uncertainty as to what will happen next.  The area around our hotel is completely shut down.  For Chris and I, our prayers are with the victims of this deliberate and malicious violation of human liberty.  I am shaking.

Innocence has once again been lost.  It would seem that the everyday life events such as going to the movies, children going to school or people gathering to participate in sporting events are no longer safe.  That is what acts of terror aim to achieve; these people without conscience want us to feel afraid and paralyzed in fear and when we stop doing things because of it, ‘they’ win.

I have already decided to go back to Boston next year.  I love the city and the community.  Running the Boston Marathon is sacred to me; not only because one must qualify to be there but because every time I do this race I am able to take back some of the hope that was lost when I was told that my body would deteriorate from MS; by people having faith in the security measures that I am sure will be in place in 2014 and the B.A.A. (Boston Athletic Association) we too take back some of the hope that was lost when an individual or group without any care for human life deliberately tried to murder and injure innocent people.

This week I encourage you to not get wrapped up with hatred or condemnation and instead focus on moving forward with your goals and dreams.  This is how we become champions in our lives; by simply living, loving and believing.

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